


can't fight the feeling forever

by nappeuns



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College Parties, Drinking, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, doyoung's trainwreck of a love life, johnny is only mentioned very briefly, ten's a shitty roommate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 03:16:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nappeuns/pseuds/nappeuns
Summary: Taeyong’s eyebrows rose, and Doyoung’s panic reached a fever pitch. He looked over at who he pulled over, and his blood instantly turned to ice.It was Jung Jaehyun.





	can't fight the feeling forever

**Author's Note:**

> a few notes before reading:
> 
> there is drinking in this, but no one gets sick, abuses alcohol, has sex under the influence of alcohol or drives under the influence of alcohol. just some tame college student fun.
> 
> a lot of this is based on my own experience at a canadian university, and the way the system works is modelled strongly after my school and my school's music department. that being said, i'm not a music major, so please forgive any inaccuracies in this.
> 
> as for ages: all ages are accurate to canon except one year down, with the exception of mark and donghyuck, who are both a year younger than jaehyun. hansol is a grad student, johnny is in fourth year, doyoung and ten are in third year, jaehyun is in second year, mark and donghyuck are freshmen. because taeyong moved/transferred and yuta's an international student, their years in university are kind of messed up, but they're the same age as johnny in this fic.
> 
> finally, please suspend your beliefs at what age is acceptable to become president of a student association lol
> 
> i hope you enjoy!

Doyoung was the type of student who liked to focus on school without doing much else. He went to classes, volunteered in his department, and spent the rest of his time either doing homework or watching shows on Netflix. He’d never been the type to go out and party, which is why Doyoung wasn’t quite sure how he found himself at a club with Ten.

“Come on,” Ten whined, sipping a drink that was garnished with far too many maraschino cherries and tiny paper umbrellas to be dignified (which, in Doyoung’s opinion, was only one. He hated those things). “Live a little, Doyoung. You can’t be a college student and not go to a club at least once.”

“You absolutely can,” Doyoung said primly, stirring his vodka cranberry with his straw (a classy drink, unlike whatever oversweetened nonsense Ten was drinking). “I was well on my way to doing that, actually, before tonight.”

Ten shrugged, smirking proudly around the cherry he popped into his mouth. “Well, it’s a good thing I saved you from that life, then,” he teased. Doyoung just rolled his eyes, ordering himself a shot, and when he looked in Ten’s direction a few moments later, his roommate was gone. When he chanced a glance over his shoulder, Ten was already grinding on some guy, seeming to be having the time of his life. Doyoung knocked his shot back grimly. 

This quickly became Doyoung’s new plan for the night-- drink an inordinate amount of hard liquor in a short amount of time for the sole purpose of getting drunk enough to get kicked out. Such an event would force Ten to leave with him, not only getting back at him for dragging Doyoung here, but also getting him out of the inevitable, regret-filled, drunken one night stand that Ten was sure to engage in that night.

In Doyoung’s opinion, it was quite a benevolent plan. Ten should thank him for sparing him a walk-of-shame in the morning.

Half an hour later, though, the plan was going... Less than fantastic. Doyoung had forgotten that he held his liquor quite well, despite his thin build, so all he had done in the past half hour was get mildly tipsy instead of the expected roaring drunk. It also didn’t help that Doyoung hated the taste of hard liquor on its own, so he had only been able to choke down two shots before he had needed to order a sprite to wash the burn out of his mouth and throat.

The crowd surrounding the bar near him had changed a quite a few times throughout the night, so it wasn’t that attention grabbing when a man slid into the open space beside him. What did catch Doyoung’s attention, though, was the man’s shock of platinum hair. Doyoung couldn’t resist a glance at someone with hair like that, but when he saw his face, he choked on his drink.

The noise drew the man’s attention, glancing over at Doyoung, and-- yep, shit, it was definitely him. Doyoung was so caught up in his panic that he nearly missed the moment of confusion that passed over the man’s face, followed soon by recognition. “Oh my-- Doyoung? Is that you?” he asked, and Doyoung’s stomach dropped. This was a mistake, this was all a mistake, Ten was going to pay for this the next day once Doyoung got the hell out of here. “You remember me, right? It’s Taeyong.”

Oh, Doyoung remembered Taeyong, alright. Taeyong, his first love and first relationship. Taeyong, who had been his first kiss, all those years ago. The same Taeyong who he had a short but intense and passionate relationship with, until Taeyong suddenly left without a word, not even giving Doyoung a farewell.

Doyoung had always thought the saying, “forgive and forget,” was bullshit. So, naturally, Doyoung put on his fakest, most tense smile, and tipped his head to the side as he looked down at Taeyong. “Oh, you did look kind of familiar,” he said, aiming for casual. “You’re just... Shorter than I expected.”

Doyoung was a bit satisfied when he saw Taeyong’s eyebrows furrow, before Taeyong was laughing, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, I haven’t grown much since I last saw you,” he explained, brushing it off. Over Taeyong’s shoulder, Doyoung saw another man lean over and whisper something into Taeyong’s ear, hand snaking around his waist to squeeze his hip. Taeyong’s smile turned a bit more natural at whatever the man said, glancing towards him, and Doyoung felt jealousy burn hot in his stomach. There was no way that he was going to let Taeyong be happy with whoever this assumed boyfriend of his was when Doyoung himself had been single for the past few years. He had a sense of pride, alright.

“So, how have you been?” Taeyong said, looking back at him now. Doyoung adamantly avoided eye contact, seeking Ten out in the crowd. Of course, though, as soon as he needed his roommate to bail him out, Ten was nowhere to be seen. Doyoung had the worst roommate in the world.

“Oh, I’ve been good,” Doyoung said, looking back at Taeyong with a fake grin to try and mask his panic. He reached a hand behind him, grabbing for whoever was on his other side at the bar. He couldn’t be the pathetic, lonely and single guy at the bar, especially not when his ex had finally showed up again after all these years. He managed to catch the wrist of whoever was behind him, pulling him over. “I’m just here with my boyfriend--”

Taeyong’s eyebrows rose, and Doyoung’s panic reached a fever pitch. He looked over at who he pulled over, and his blood instantly turned to ice.

It was Jung Jaehyun.

If it had been any other guy in the world, Doyoung might have been okay with this situation. As it stood, however, this was not any other guy in the world. This was Jung Jaehyun, who for the past almost year had taken up residence in Doyoung’s life as his Arch Enemy (as indicated by his name in Doyoung’s phone contacts, accompanied by many angry emojis). Tall, handsome Jung Jaehyun, on the varsity basketball team, and president of their department’s student association, the person Doyoung hated the most, was just given the best opportunity possible to humiliate Doyoung. This had to be karma getting back at him for something he did in his past life, Doyoung thought, and he cursed whatever higher power put him in this situation.

Jaehyun took a moment to look between Doyoung and Taeyong, completely silent, and for a moment, Doyoung feared that Jaehyun wasn’t going to play along. But after a second, he was smiling, sliding his arm around Doyoung’s waist and reaching his hand out to Taeyong with a good-natured, “Hey, I’m Jaehyun.”

Doyoung barely paid attention to Taeyong introducing himself, too busy trying to ignore the warmth of Jaehyun’s hand on his hip. He only snapped out of it when Jaehyun pulled him a bit closer, and when he looked up, Jaehyun was smiling that charming, dimpled smile at him. Doyoung felt himself melt a bit, then cursed himself, going tense again. 

“I think I’m gonna step out to get some fresh air,” Jaehyun said to him, voice pitched just low enough for only Doyoung and Taeyong to hear. Doyoung wanted to die, preferably right this instant. “Come with me?”

Doyoung took the opportunity to get out of there so fast, nodding quick enough to make him dizzy. He stepped away and grabbed Jaehyun’s wrist, wanting to minimize their contact before he did something foolish.

“Yes, let’s do that,” he said in a rush. He turned to Taeyong with a tense smile, hoping that this was enough to convince him. “Well, it was good seeing you,” he said briskly, before turning and tugging Jaehyun away sharply. He tried to tune out whatever Taeyong said after him as he hurried out of the club, but he bristled when he heard Taeyong call, “I’m glad you’re happy!”

As soon as they were out of the club and away from prying eyes, Doyoung let go of Jaehyun like he’d been burned, stepping back to put as much distance as possible between them. He felt like he could breathe a bit easier once there was a bit of space between them, but all that served to do was give Doyoung a better view of how Jaehyun looked.  _Hot_ was the word that came to Doyoung’s mind, but he shoved that away immediately, looking away from Jaehyun as he sat down on the curb with a groan. It was too late at night to try and deal with this. It was too _anything_ to try and deal with this. He looked at the sewer grate a bit down the road, and wondered if it would be possible to live in there for the rest of his life so he never had to deal with anything like this ever again.

“Hey, relax,” Jaehyun said smoothly, sitting on the curb next to Doyoung, and of course Jaehyun would be infuriatingly calm and gentle about this whole thing, while Doyoung felt like his life was imploding. Of course. “You wanna tell me what that was all about?”

“No, not really,” was the first thing that Doyoung said on instinct, voice weak and strained. Jaehyun clearly didn’t take that as an answer, judging by how he sat in silence, just staring at Doyoung imploringly. After a few moments, Doyoung finally gave up, leaning back to look up at the night sky.

“Taeyong’s my ex,” Doyoung explained finally, not looking at Jaehyun. “We had a bad breakup. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again, but when I saw him here with some other guy, I panicked and tried to make him jealous.”

Jaehyun was silent for a moment, then let out a snort. “Sounds like you,” he remarked teasingly, leaning over to nudge Doyoung, who pulled back with a scathing, “Don't touch me.” Jaehyun moved back, holding his hands up in surrender but still smiling good-naturedly. Doyoung looked away adamantly.

“So,” Jaehyun began tentatively, putting his hands down and moving a bit closer to Doyoung. “Is there a reason why you grabbed me, or--”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Doyoung spat, glaring across the street. He was not going to look at Jaehyun-- he didn't even deserve Doyoung’s glare. “I just grabbed whoever was behind me. If I’d known it was _you_ , I wouldn't have done it.”

Jaehyun let out a laugh, shifting closer to Doyoung. Their knees brushed and Doyoung's recoiled with a jerk. “Oh come on,” Jaehyun chuckled. “You're still upset with me?”

The sidewalk was suddenly too hard underneath Doyoung and Jaehyun was sitting too close. He scrambled to his feet, looming over Jaehyun, and felt a hint of petty satisfaction at finally being taller than him, for once. “Yes, I am upset,” he said scathingly, “and I'll stay upset. So don't think I suddenly like you or anything like that. And don't tell anyone about this, _ever._ ”

Jaehyun sighed like he was over this whole situation, which was really too bad for him, because Doyoung was not getting over this. “I won't tell anyone,” he promised, which was minutely relieving, until he stood up and stepped closer to Doyoung again. “But really, Doyoung, it's been a year, let's just talk--”

“No, let's not,” Doyoung said firmly. He forced himself to turn, not wanting to look at Jaehyun anymore lest Jaehyun put on that disarming, disappointed expression that worked on Doyoung so well. “I’m going home. Goodnight, Jaehyun.”

He heard Jaehyun sigh behind him as he started to walk away and grit his teeth, preparing to reject Jaehyun in case he continued to plead with him, but all he got was a gentle, “Get home safe, Doyoung.” Doyoung didn't turn around.   
  


* * *

 

Doyoung woke the next morning to the sound of his door opening, and when he peeked out from his mass of blankets, he saw Ten meandering in, shirt wrinkled and slipping off one shoulder to showcase a line of red lovebites. 

“Another walk of shame,” Doyoung grumbled from his bed, turning to face the wall. “What's that, your third one this week?”

“Saw you with Jaehyun last night,” Ten said calmly. Doyoung could hear clothes hitting the floor and he pulled the blanket up over his head hurriedly.

“Bring that up again and I’ll shave your head,” Doyoung threatened. Ten’s laughter rang in his head even after he left to take a shower, right up until he fell asleep again. 

* * *

It was two weeks later when Doyoung saw Taeyong again.

Doyoung was on his way back to his dorm after class, exhausted after two hours of early morning studio practice. It was raining that morning, too, and Doyoung was aching to crawl back in his bed and get a couple more hours of sleep before Ten woke up and started getting ready.

He took a different route from his usual, ducking through another part of the fine arts building to avoid the rain, and Doyoung immediately regretted it as soon as he walked through the doors. Because there, lounging on a bench in front of one of the studios, was none other than Taeyong.

It felt like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over Doyoung’s head. He immediately went tense and backed up, but his shoes squeaked on the floor and Taeyong’s head shot up. Their eyes met, and even though Doyoung tried to look away and act like he hadn’t seen him, Taeyong wasn’t letting him go.

“Doyoung!” Taeyong called, standing up off the bench. Doyoung almost pretended he hadn’t heard, but then realized that he didn’t have headphones in because Ten, not for the first time, had swiped them last night. Doyoung, also not for the first time, cursed his shitty roommate.

“Oh!” Doyoung settled for, turning to look at Taeyong. He put on a smile, and took a couple steps closer, not wanting the whole fine arts faculty to hear their conversation. No one needed to know about Doyoung’s trainwreck of a love life. “Taeyong! I didn’t know you go here!”

Taeyong smiled at him, and it was just as cute as it was when Doyoung had last seen him a couple years ago, Doyoung thought bitterly. It was harder to try and make someone jealous when they were so cute. “I didn’t know  _you_  went here,” Taeyong countered. “I just moved back here. I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

Doyoung let out a terse laugh. “Well, neither was I,” he said, aiming on playful but coming out more defensive. Luckily, Taeyong didn’t seem to notice.

“So, I’m guessing you’re part of the music department?” Taeyong asked, genuinely curious about Doyoung’s life. “And knowing how you were in high school, you’re probably leading some student club, right? I’m pretty sure I heard about the music students association at orientation..”

Doyoung wanted to melt into the ground at the mention of high school, and that feeling only multiplied when Taeyong brought up the music students association. “No,” he said weakly. “The students association is Jaehyun’s thing.”

Taeyong let out a noise of understanding at that. “Right, Jaehyun,” he echoed, almost like he had forgotten what was easily one of the most shameful moments of Doyoung’s existence. “You probably can’t have two people dating as leaders in the same club, right?”

Doyoung wanted to choke. “Something like that,” he managed to grit out.

Taeyong nodded for a few moments, pensive, and Doyoung took that as cue to leave. He only managed a half step back before Taeyong was calling for him again.

“We should all hang out!” Taeyong suggested suddenly, looking at Doyoung with that smile again. Shit. “It’d be nice to catch up, you know? I’ll bring a friend too, so no one’s third wheeling.”

Doyoung wasn’t sure about no one third wheeling, but he nodded anyways, agreeing out of panic. “Sure,” he said, taking a couple steps away. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll text you about it. Your number’s the same, right?”

Taeyong nodded, smile slowly sliding off his face to make room for a quizzical expression. “Yeah, how did you know?” he asked in confusion.

Truthfully, Taeyong’s phone number was on his Facebook, and Doyoung had checked it every so often to see if it had changed, even though he hadn’t talked to Taeyong in years. Taeyong didn’t need to know that, though, so Doyoung turned and hurried away, shouting out a, “Talk to you later!” before the door shut behind him.

* * *

Doyoung ended up trekking through the rain back to his dorm, running most of the way. He was soaked by the time he got home, but Ten was still asleep, so Doyoung didn’t have to worry about going to the bathroom to change. He stripped down to his boxers right there, tossing the clothes in the hamper and pulling on a t-shirt. He’d deal with the clothes later. Now, as he climbed into bed, he had more important things to handle. Like trying to break to Jaehyun that he’d panickedly agreed to a double date with Taeyong and whoever he was bringing along.

Doyoung grabbed his phone and opened his messages with a feeling of dread, scrolling through his recents until he found the one labeled “arch enemy”. It took a good, long while of staring at his ceiling and trying to muster up what little courage he had, but eventually he started typing.

 

**to: arch enemy**

ok listen

if there was any way for me to ask someone else

i would in a heartbeat

let’s get that straight

as it stands

you’re the guy who i pretended i was dating

now taeyong is at our school and asking about you

so i have to try to convince him we’re dating still

**from: arch enemy**

And you’re expecting me to go along with this?

**to: arch enemy**

uh

yes

why, do you have something better to do

**from: arch enemy**

Probably.  

**to: arch enemy**

just agree with me

for once in your life

**from: arch enemy**

What’s in it for me?

**to: arch enemy**

the knowledge that i will be suffering immensely?

copious amounts of blackmail material?

the privilege of being in my presence?

**from: arch enemy**

I’m not sure if I’d call that a privilege..

**to: arch enemy**

you take that back

you ungrateful heathen

**from: arch enemy**

Haha, I’m just teasing you. :)

All jokes aside though, I don’t hate you.

I don’t have a reason for blackmailing you.

I don’t want you to suffer, either.

**to: arch enemy**

sure, cool

will you help me or not?

**from: arch enemy**

Of course I’ll help you.

I’ll try and make it as painless as possible, alright?

**to: arch enemy**

a saint, truly

meet me at the campus pub

saturday at 6pm

we’re going for dinner with taeyong and his friend

**from: arch enemy**

Alright, see you then.

 

Doyoung put his phone down after that, letting out a breath. It was less painful than he thought it’d be, but he still wasn’t happy about it. For now, though, he pushed it out of his mind, and closed his eyes. It wasn’t long before Doyoung fell asleep.

* * *

When Doyoung got to the pub on Saturday, Jaehyun was waiting outside, because of course he’d wait for Doyoung. Of course. Doyoung had even gotten there late partially in hopes that Jaehyun would go in without him, but he should have known Jaehyun would be exceedingly polite about these things. It was only partially purposeful since he did get caught up with Ten’s heckling him, prodding him why he was putting effort in to look good when he was meeting someone he hated. Doyoung’s logic of making someone jealous being more difficult if you looked like a slob hadn’t sat well with Ten either.

Really, the being purposefully late part to get Jaehyun to leave was rationalization after the fact. He hadn’t meant to be late, but it wasn’t like he was going to explain himself to Jaehyun anyways.

“Figured we should go in together,” Jaehyun said when he saw Doyoung approach, “since we’re dating and all.” He looked irritatingly good, dressed in dark jeans and a button down, the top buttons undone just enough to get a glimpse of defined collarbones and a muscular chest. He tried to put an arm around Doyoung’s shoulder. Doyoung swerved away hastily.

“Let’s just get this over with,” Doyoung muttered, not looking at Jaehyun as he walked into the pub.

Taeyong was there, with the same guy Doyoung had seen him with at the pub. He had bright eyes and a gorgeous smile, and seemed genuinely eager to meet them. Doyoung gave him a tense smile back as he sat down. Jaehyun, meanwhile, seemed right in his element, sliding into his seat with an easy smile and introducing himself.

It turned out that the guy Taeyong had brought along was a Japanese international student named Yuta, and he was in the dance department with Taeyong. “I’ve seen you around before,” he told Jaehyun. “You work with the music department, right? As a student representative or something?”

Jaehyun laughed, having the modesty to look a bit embarrassed. “I’m the president of the music students association,” he admitted, to Yuta’s amazement. Doyoung couldn’t stop himself from bristling beside him, and Taeyong gave him a searching look. Thankfully, he didn’t comment on anything.

Their server came not too long after, and everyone placed their orders, before getting back to the small talk. “So,” Jaehyun began, looking between Taeyong and Doyoung. “How do you two know each other? I don’t think I’ve heard Doyoung mention you before.”

Taeyong didn’t seem all that surprised, and just glanced between Doyoung and Jaehyun before beginning to explain. “We went to the same high school,” he said, and Jaehyun let out a noise of understanding. “I was a year older than Doyoung, but we lived near each other, so we became friends.” He glanced at Doyoung, seeming to hesitate, before he looked at Jaehyun again. “Actually,” he added, “when we got older, Doyoung and I--”

“Were best friends!” Doyoung interrupted panickedly. Everyone looked at Doyoung, and he tried not to waver under their stares. “We were best friends when Taeyong was in senior year, but then he moved,” he finished explaining, before turning to Taeyong with a smile. “Right, Taeyong?”

Taeyong looked at Doyoung weirdly for a moment, before he nodded. “Right,” he said slowly, grabbing his glass of water and taking a sip. “We were best friends.”

Yuta and Jaehyun seemed a bit confused at the strange tone of the conversation, but soon the conversation was picked up again. Doyoung stayed mostly quiet, even after their food arrived, wanting nothing more than to melt into the ground and disappear. Luckily, the other three were too occupied by their food to try and rope Doyoung into the conversation, so he was spared for the most part, only having to answer a few simple questions.

It wasn’t until they were finishing up their meals that Yuta addressed both Doyoung and Jaehyun directly again. “Hey, I’m actually throwing a house party at the end of October,” he said suddenly, looking at both of them with wide eyes. “It’s kind of for my birthday, but also for the end of midterms. Do you guys wanna come?”

Alarm bells went off in Doyoung’s head and he hurriedly opened his mouth to decline, but Jaehyun beat him to it. “Sure!” Jaehyun said, much to Doyoung’s dismay. “We’d love to come.”

“Awesome!” Yuta chirped, leaning back in his seat. He slung an arm around Taeyong’s shoulder, leaning into him heavily. “Taeyong and I will be happy to have you!”

Doyoung looked at Jaehyun pointedly, but Jaehyun was just grinning back at Yuta, oblivious to Doyoung’s plight. Doyoung knew he couldn’t disagree in front of Yuta and Taeyong, not with Yuta smiling so eagerly like that, so he just smiled back tensely.

Doyoung waited until they were all finished and paid-- with Jaehyun paying for Doyoung’s dinner, thankfully-- and out of the restaurant before he brought it up. They saw Taeyong and Yuta off, the two of them catching the same bus out of campus, before Doyoung spun to Jaehyun, fuming.

“What the hell,” he snapped at Jaehyun. Jaehyun, to his credit, looked a bit sheepish, obviously knowing what Doyoung was upset over. “Did you seriously just agree for us to go to a party, _together_ , with my ex and his new boyfriend?”

Jaehyun held his hands up placatingly, giving Doyoung a smile. “Yuta’s nice, alright!” he explained. “He may be your ex’s new boyfriend, but he’s nice. And it’s just a party, there’s no harm done.”

“There is absolutely harm done,” Doyoung said furiously. “This is another thing we have to do together, and that in itself is bad enough, but to top it all off, my ex is going to be there too! How is there no harm in that?”

Jaehyun sighed then, putting his hands down. “Doyoung, come on,” he said, and for once, he almost sounded frustrated. “Just let it go already. Taeyong seems happy, don’t try to ruin it.”

There was a bit of satisfaction, albeit petty, on Doyoung’s end at Jaehyun getting frustrated. Finally, he seemed to be getting Jaehyun’s nice, polished, perfect exterior to crack. “Don’t tell me what to do,” he told Jaehyun angrily. “I’m not going to let it go.”

Doyoung’s satisfaction at Jaehyun’s frustration was short lived, because at that, Jaehyun relaxed. “Sorry, you’re right,” he told Doyoung, and Doyoung blinked in surprise. “I shouldn’t tell you what to do. We can tell Yuta we aren’t going.”

If anything, Jaehyun’s apology just served to make Doyoung more frustrated, overwhelming him with the need to get away from Jaehyun immediately. “Tell him yourself,” he snapped, before turning around and stalking away. Doyoung heard Jaehyun sigh behind him, but he didn’t follow.

When Doyoung got back to his dorm, Ten was waiting for him.

“Hansol texted me,” Ten said, glancing up from his phone when Doyoung walked in. “He saw you with Jaehyun. He wants to know if you’ve finally given in and hooked up with him.”

“Never going to happen,” Doyoung said stormily, chucking his coat onto his bed and sitting down in his desk chair with enough force for it to creak under him. “Tell him he can choke.”

Ten looked at Doyoung for a moment, studying him, before dutifully typing the message on his phone. “You know, people are gonna start asking about you and Jaehyun,” he said wisely. “If you want this ex of yours to believe you’re dating, you’ll have to keep up appearances in public, too.”

Doyoung pulled his laptop out and jammed the power button repeatedly, eager to have something to distract him. “What, like you’re so experienced in pretending to date someone? Some sort of fake-dating coach?”

“I’m not dumb enough for that,” Ten commented coolly. Doyoung ignored the jab. “I’m just saying, if you wanna be convincing, you might want to stop acting like you hate him, or trying to make him hate you. Nothing good comes out of being resentful.”

“Thanks for the advice, Chicken Soup for the Soul,” Doyoung replied dryly, jamming his headphones into the jack on his laptop and shoving them over his ears to drown out anything else Ten might have said. “I’ve got it under control.”

* * *

Doyoung did not, in fact, have it under control.

At school the next day, seemingly every one of Doyoung’s friends had heard about him and Jaehyun, and had made it their personal mission to ask him about it. The worst part of it was, when they asked if him and Jaehyun were dating, he had to lie and say yes. By noon, he was so tired of it that he retreated to the music department, ducking into the student lounge to hide. Even that was futile, though, since Donghyuck was in there, the annoying freshman that Doyoung was assigned to mentor and could never keep his nose out of other people’s business.

“Hey!” Donghyuck called when Doyoung walked in, hopping off the couch, and Doyoung groaned. This was the last thing he needed. “Is what everyone’s saying true? Did you and Jaehyun finally hook up.”

Doyoung let out a long, pained sigh, stopping by one of the couches. Coming here was a mistake. “Yes,” he grit out. “Jaehyun and I hooked up. We’re dating now. Go ahead and fill in your weird freshman gossip circle with the news so people stop asking me.”

Donghyuck whistled at that, eyes wide. He circled the couch to come stand in front of Doyoung, arms crossed as he looked at him impressedly. “Damn,” he said, awed. “Didn’t think I’d live to see the day.”

“Well, you were wrong,” Doyoung said briskly, moving to brush past him and back out of the office. “I’m gonna go practice in one of the studios.”

“Hooking up in there is against university policy!” Donghyuck called out smugly behind him. Doyoung ignored him and let the door slam shut as he walked out.

Doyoung stalked down the hall towards the nearest vocal studio, ignoring any looks he got from the people he passed along the way. He quickly shut and locked the door behind him when he got inside, letting out a groan at finally having some peace. He dropped his bag onto the ground uncaringly, before taking a seat on the floor. Not a minute later though, his phone vibrated in his pocket, and he groaned again. When he pulled it out, he had a text from Jaehyun.

 

**from: arch enemy**

How many times have you been asked today?

About us dating, I mean.

**to: arch enemy**

don’t call it that

and like 5 times

made the mistake of going to our department

**from: arch enemy**

Yeah, not your brightest idea. No offense.

 

Doyoung scoffed at that. Of course Jaehyun would be worried about offending him over something so stupid. His phone vibrated again and he looked down.

 

**from: arch enemy**

How long will we keep this up for?

Taeyong’s going to be here for a while.

I’m just wondering for the future.

**to: arch enemy**

what, do you have someone else you want to “date”

**from: arch enemy**

No, nothing like that.

I just don’t want you to be unhappy.

 

The message made something in Doyoung’s stomach twist. Jaehyun was really that worried about him, even after everything? It also made something akin to fondness bloom in Doyoung’s chest, but he pressed it down and typed out another message.

 

**to: arch enemy**

just worry about yourself

 

Doyoung shut his phone off after that. When he turned it back on a few hours later after practicing in the studio, there was no reply from Jaehyun. Doyoung didn’t know if he should be happy about that or not.

Before bed that night, he changed his name in his contacts to “jaehyun”. No emojis.

* * *

School picked up again, and Doyoung’s dilemma regarding Jaehyun was swept away in the mayhem. Midterms were nearing, and even though a good chunk of Doyoung’s courses didn’t require written exams, the several that did were stressing him out. Him and Jaehyun ate lunch together on campus a couple times, just to keep up appearances, but it happened sparingly, and between all of his performances, his volunteering, and his exams, he forgot about most of the drama, along with much of his peers. He forgot about the party Taeyong and Yuta had invited them to as well, until he got a text from Jaehyun.

 

**from: jaehyun**

Hey, are we still good to go to the party on Friday?

**to: jaehyun**

what

what party???

**from: jaehyun**

The one Yuta and Taeyong invited us to.

It’s for Yuta’s birthday!

**to: jaehyun**

shit

i totally forgot about it

**from: jaehyun**

So you can’t come? :(

**to: jaehyun**

nonono i can come

where is it again?

**from: jaehyun**

It’s at Yuta’s apartment, about 20 minutes drive from campus.

I’ll pick you up at 9?

**to: jaehyun**

what

you drive?

**from: jaehyun**

Yeah, I’ve driven you home before, remember?

After that one party last year?

**to: jaehyun**

oh

yeah

i think i repressed that shitshow from my memory

**from: jaehyun**

Good thing I remember! :)

See you on Friday!

 

Doyoung stared at his phone for a few moments, debating on whether or not to reply, before putting it down. That smug smiley-face didn’t deserve a reply.

* * *

Friday rolled around without much fanfare, but Doyoung spent half of that day having a crisis, much to Ten’s amusement. Doyoung’s roommate was completely unhelpful the entire time, just sitting and laughing as Doyoung tried to decide what to wear.

“You know, considering how much you’re supposed to hate this guy, you care an awful lot about what he thinks,” Ten commented smugly. “Are you sure you aren’t in love with him?”

“I don’t hate him,” Doyoung admitted unthinkingly, too busy fixing the buttons on his shirt. He only realized what he said when things went silent on Ten’s side of the room, and when he looked over, Ten was staring at him with his mouth agape. 

“Did I hear that right?” Ten asked, shocked. He scrambled off the bed and towards Doyoung. “Did you just admit that you don’t hate Jaehyun? After spending most of the past year hating him?”

Doyoung turned away from Ten hurriedly to grab his wallet and keys, shoving them in his pocket. He swallowed as he grabbed his phone, throat clicking. “Get your ears checked,” he told Ten, stepping into his shoes. He didn’t even bother to put them on properly before opening the door.

Ten’s stunned shout of, “You’re falling for him!” was the last thing Doyoung heard before the door clicked shut.

Doyoung stayed tense and quiet until he was in the elevator, at which point he finally slumped against the wall, sighing and burying his face in his hands. He hated Ten. He hated Taeyong too. Even Yuta, even though the guy had been nothing but nice to him from the second they met. Most of all, he hated Jaehyun. He hated his smile, his charming personality, how nice he always was to Doyoung, how his heart jumped and his stomach lurched traitorously whenever Jaehyun was around. His hair was gonna go as gray as Taeyong’s if he had to do this much longer.

He didn’t even realize when he reached the main floor, the elevator dinging before the door opened. When he looked up, a freshman from his floor-- Mark, or something-- was standing just outside the elevator, a mildly terrified expression on his face.

“Oh,” Mark said dumbly, taking a tentative step into the elevator before stepping back out. “Uh. Are you okay?”

Doyoung looked at the expression on Mark’s face and realized it was a pretty good representation of how Doyoung felt about going to this party. “Fine,” Doyoung said, straightening up and brushing past Mark out of the elevator. “Have a good night, kid.”

“U-Uh, you too,” Doyoung heard Mark say behind him, before the elevator doors shut. Doyoung took a breath to steady himself before walking outside.

Even though Doyoung had left early, Jaehyun was already there, leaning against the hood of his car with his phone in his hands. When he looked up at Doyoung and smiled, something fluttered traitorously in Doyoung’s chest. Jaehyun looked good,  _really_ good, in ripped jeans and a bomber jacket with a white t-shirt underneath. His blond hair was a bit curly and mussed, and when he smiled at Doyoung, his eyes crinkled up. Ten’s words echoed in his head again--  _you're falling for him_ \-- and he swallowed down anything nice he wanted to say to Jaehyun, dropping his head and walking over to him in silence.

“Hey,” Jaehyun said when Doyoung was close enough. Doyoung opened his mouth, then closed it, not trusting himself to say anything back. He saw Jaehyun pause from where he was glancing up through his bangs, before he tucked his phone into his back pocket.

“Hey, you okay?” Jaehyun asked, and Doyoung’s stomach twisted. _No_ , Doyoung wanted to say, but again, he didn’t trust himself to reply. He moved to reach for the door handle, but Jaehyun’s hand shot out, covering it before Doyoung could grab it.

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun said, his voice pitched low and tinged with concern. “If you aren’t feeling well, we don’t have to go.”

When Doyoung looked up, Jaehyun’s eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were turned downwards just slightly in a frown. But what struck Doyoung were Jaehyun’s eyes, boring into him, filled with genuine worry. Doyoung’s stomach flipped, and he took a shaky breath.

Looking away, Doyoung moved his hand to brush Jaehyun’s off of the door handle so he could open it. He glanced up at Jaehyun again and gave him a tentative smile.

“We’re already ready, right?” Doyoung said, trying to be reassuring. “Let’s just go.”

The car ride to Yuta’s was spent in silence. Doyoung noticed Jaehyun look at him a couple of times, but Doyoung never looked back, determinedly staring out the window even though he wasn’t taking in anything they saw. Midway through the ride, his phone started vibrating in his pocket, and after a few times, he pulled it out. It was Ten messaging him.

 

**from: ten**

hey

i kno i fuck wit u a lot but

he doesnt hate u

i kno u dont hate him

dont try to make him hate u

it wont work hes too pure

**to: ten**

what are you even saying right now

**from: ten**

ffs u rly dont get it???

that jaehyun actually likes u

u dumb shit

**to: ten**

jaehyun likes everyone

an unfortunate character flaw

**from: ten**

but not how he likes u!!

do u rly not see it

 

Something in Doyoung slipped at that, and he looked at Jaehyun suddenly. Sure enough, Jaehyun was glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. His hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, back straight, shoulders tensed. When Doyoung caught him looking, Jaehyun looked away hurriedly, eyes back on the road, but the tension never left him.

Doyoung’s phone buzzed again. He looked down to find another message from Ten.

 

**from: ten**

just

dont be an idiot abt this

he rly likes u

and he didnt do anything wrong to u

dont hurt him

just let this happen

whatever u call love in ur weird alien language

still convinced ur an alien masquerading as a human

**to: ten**

christ i thought we were gonna have a moment there

thank god you’re still as inept at feelings as i am

thanks for the advice though. honestly.

**from: ten**

a genuine thank u from kim doyoung?

what country did i save in a past life!!!

are u gnna take my advice tho

 

Doyoung looked at Jaehyun again. He wasn’t looking at Doyoung this time, seemingly having learned from getting caught last time, but he was still tense. Doyoung looked back at his phone, typed out a message, and stared at it a long time before hitting send.

 

**to: ten**

maybe

 

When Doyoung looked up again, the car had stopped. They were parked on the side of the road. About a block away from them, Doyoung could see a low-rise apartment complex that he assumed was Yuta’s.

He looked at Jaehyun again, and this time, Jaehyun was looking right at him. His hands weren’t gripping the wheel anymore, instead with one on the door handle and one on the gearshift, but his shoulders were just as tense. When Doyoung looked at him though, he put on a smile.

“This is the closest I could park,” Jaehyun told him, a bit apologetic, but it wasn’t like Doyoung minded. He pulled on the door handle a bit, the door opening just slightly. “Ready to go?”

Doyoung took one more look at him, followed by one more deep breath, before nodding.

“Yeah,” he told Jaehyun, opening his own door. “Let’s go.”

They walked to Yuta’s apartment in silence. Jaehyun had his hands shoved in his pocket, scuffing his shoes on the sidewalk occasionally. It was a bit endearing. Doyoung shuffled along beside him quietly, sniffing once or twice. It was late October now, and a chill had settled into the evening air, causing Doyoung to shiver.

Jaehyun texted Yuta once they were in the lobby, and he buzzed them up. Neither of them said anything in the elevator, but Jaehyun stepped just a bit closer to Doyoung, enough for the sleeve of his jacket to brush against Doyoung’s arm. Doyoung didn’t move away.

It was only nearing ten o’clock once they got inside Yuta’s apartment, but there were already a bunch of people there. Yuta was grinning, clearly having had a couple beers already, and he threw an arm each around Doyoung and Jaehyun.

“Aw, you guys came!” he said cheerfully, and yep, he’d definitely had at least something to drink. “Taeyong forgot to remind you guys, and I don’t have your numbers. I thought you wouldn’t come.”

Jaehyun laughed, wrapping an arm around Yuta in return, while Doyoung just patted his back a couple times placatingly. “No, we remembered,” Jaehyun assured needlessly. Yuta’s hug pulled them closer together, and Doyoung’s arm brushed against Jaehyun’s. He made to pull back, but Jaehyun moved his arm first this time, instead resting his hand on Doyoung’s lower back, holding him there so he couldn’t pull away.

“Come on,” Yuta said, pulling back only to take Doyoung’s wrist and tug him into the kitchen. Jaehyun followed along behind them dutifully. “The snacks and drinks are in here. Take whatever you want. Don’t worry about paying me back.”

Jaehyun paused at that, frowning, his hand falling off Doyoung’s waist as Doyoung was pulled directly to the fridge. “But it’s your birthday,” he protested, already reaching into his pocket for his wallet. “Shouldn’t we at least pitch?”

Yuta opened the fridge and reached in, pulling out a couple of coolers for each of them. “Having my friends here is my present,” he sang happily, pushing a bottle into Doyoung’s hands with a wink. “Just enjoy yourselves!”

Doyoung looked at Yuta for a few moments after that, just thinking. This was the guy he was supposed to hate? He wanted to try and get Taeyong jealous, pull him away from Yuta, for what? He didn’t even want Taeyong back, he just wanted to make him jealous, make him feel crappy like how Doyoung did when Taeyong left him years ago, and Yuta didn’t deserve to be wrapped up in that.

Doyoung looked back as Yuta hopped around him, pushing a bottle into Jaehyun’s hands with a laugh. His stomach twisted again when Jaehyun smiled, but this time it was with guilt. Yuta wasn’t the only one that didn’t deserve this.

“Hey, Yuta?” Doyoung called, just as Yuta was about to step out of the kitchen. Yuta looked back, smiling over his shoulder, and it was so infectious that Doyoung couldn’t help himself from smiling back.

“Happy birthday,” Doyoung said, tipping the bottle Yuta had given him towards him, “and thanks.”

Yuta seemed a bit surprised for half a second, before his face erupted into a grin and he let out a sparkling laugh. “No problem!” he shouted, raising his bottle return. “Have fun tonight!” He winked at Doyoung again, and then he was gone, dancing out of the kitchen as the door opened again.

Doyoung looked at where Yuta had been standing for a few moments, smiling to himself before he turned to look at Jaehyun. Of course, Jaehyun was staring at him, a soft, gentle smile on his face that made Doyoung’s heart skip a beat.

“I don’t think I’ve heard you sound so happy before,” Jaehyun remarked, looking away to twist the cap off his drink. He looked back at Doyoung as he took a swig, and Doyoung’s gaze dropped to his neck without thinking, watching his throat work. Doyoung swallowed thickly as he glanced away.

“Well, Yuta’s a nice guy,” he said defensively, opening his cooler too. He knocked back half of it in one go, turning a bit away from Jaehyun as he drank, though he felt Jaehyun’s eyes on him the whole time. He let out a sigh when he was done, then glanced back at Jaehyun. Jaehyun was still staring at him, his eyes suddenly dark and burning Doyoung with how intense they were. Doyoung shivered despite himself, turning away quickly.

“Come on,” he told Jaehyun, and if his voice was a bit more tense than before, Jaehyun didn’t comment on it. “Let’s go into the living room, that’s where everyone is.”

Doyoung didn’t wait to see if Jaehyun would agree or even follow, and just headed into the living room ahead of him. It was noisier there than the kitchen, the people there filling it with chatter. There was music playing too, and when Doyoung looked, he recognized Johnny, a guy from the music department specializing in instrumental performance, standing by a table in the corner with a laptop and a small DJ setup on it. He almost headed over to say hi, but then he heard someone call his name. When he looked, Hansol was standing by another table covered in red solo cups, a ping pong ball in his hand.

“Beer pong?” Hansol offered, smiling slightly and quirking the ball towards him. “We should catch up!”

Doyoung looked at Hansol for a second, before looking behind him. Jaehyun wasn’t anywhere to be found, so he turned back to Hansol and nodded before coming closer.

Doyoung had never been really good at beer pong, struggling to control his long limbs in even the most basic of situations, so it wasn’t long until he started losing to Hansol, getting a bit drunker in the process. Still though, he enjoyed himself despite his usual competitive streak, missing spending time with one of his floormates from his first year. Hansol had finished his undergrad last year-- he was still at the school doing his masters, but he was so busy that Doyoung didn’t get to see him much. To be around him again and forget about all the other things going on in his life was a needed reprieve.

It was, at least, until Doyoung only had two cups left to Hansol’s five and Doyoung was starting to feel mildly drunk. “So,” Hansol began, taking a sip of his beer even though he hadn’t lost a cup. Doyoung got the feeling that Hansol was starting to pity him. “Jaehyun, huh?”

He spoke just as Doyoung threw the ball, and Doyoung cursed frustratedly as it clattered off the rim of one of the cups before bouncing away. “I was almost starting to enjoy myself losing here,” he told Hansol frustratedly. “I should have known better.”

Hansol smiled, the usual tight-lipped, closed-mouthed smile that Doyoung remembered, and leaned over to grab the ball. “You can still enjoy yourself,” he told Doyoung, tossing the ball casually and sending it straight into one of Doyoung’s two remaining cups, “just tell me a bit more about this. It was kind of unexpected.”

Doyoung cursed again as he fished the ball out of the cup, downing a good half of what was left in his drink. He’d run out of his cooler after the second cup, but Hansol had gone and gotten him a second one. He cursed him for it a bit as he swallowed, before tossing the ball again. It didn’t even hit a cup this time, instead bouncing along the table until Hansol caught it.

“It’s really not what you think,” Doyoung explained, wringing the neck of the bottle nervously. Hansol tossed the ball again and it bounced off the rim towards Doyoung, who caught it. “We aren’t like that.”

“Seems like you are to me,” Hansol told him as Doyoung threw, missing again, “if by the way he’s been looking at you all night is any indication.”

Doyoung’s eyes went wide and he turned around at that, searching for Jaehyun in the room. True to Hansol’s words, Jaehyun was there, leaning against the wall next to Johnny’s makeshift DJ booth and looking right at him. He raised an eyebrow when Doyoung caught him, tipping his drink towards Doyoung slightly before taking a sip. Doyoung only turned away when he heard a small splash behind him, and when he looked, Hansol had sunk the ball into his last cup.

“Bottoms up,” Hansol told him a bit playfully, nodding towards the cooler Doyoung had in his hands. “Now go to your not-boyfriend or whatever. We’ll grab lunch later.”

Hansol meandered away, passing the ball to another guy that Doyoung didn’t recognize, and Doyoung stepped aside as well, not wanting to interfere with the next game. In the time it took him to do that and finish the rest of his drink, Jaehyun had sidled up beside him, a beer in his hands.

“Hey,” he said to Doyoung, and Doyoung struggled to hear, not realizing how loud the music had gotten. He put a hand on Doyoung’s back again, and Doyoung bit his lip. “Lost track of you for a while there.”

Doyoung looked up at Jaehyun then, really looked at him. Jaehyun’s eyes were dark, a bit hooded, and his cheeks were tinged pink, having had a bit to drink. He looked good, really fucking good, and Doyoung felt himself fall.

“Jaehyun,” Doyoung asked suddenly. His voice sounded foreign, like it was coming from a stranger. “Jaehyun, do you like me?”

The sudden question seemed to take Jaehyun by surprise, and his eyes widened, lips parting just slightly. He moved back just slightly, and in a moment of irrational impulsivity, Doyoung leaned in and kissed him.

Jaehyun’s lips were plush and soft. They tasted like whatever he’d been drinking, bitter with just a hint of sweetness, and it gave Doyoung a rush. He moved a hand up to fist in the front of Jaehyun’s shirt just as Jaehyun relaxed into it, his hand sliding across Doyoung’s waist to pull them flush together. Jaehyun kissed back, letting out a small sigh into Doyoung’s mouth as Doyoung’s eyes closed.

It took until Jaehyun had backed them up so Doyoung was leaning against the wall, tracing his tongue along the seam of Doyoung’s mouth, for a memory to come back to Doyoung. They had been at a party just like this in late February, midway through the last school year, a bunch of students from the music department crammed into some senior’s apartment. Doyoung had gotten drunk, irresponsibly so, and when Jaehyun had come over to talk to him, smiling that charming smile, Doyoung had grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him.

They hadn’t hooked up that night-- Jaehyun, thankfully sober, hadn’t wanted that-- but they’d spent a good part of the night kissing, tucked in a quiet hallway with Jaehyun’s hands on Doyoung’s hips and Doyoung’s hands running through Jaehyun’s hair. They’d kissed until it was so late it was nearly early, Doyoung giggling against Jaehyun’s lips, cheek, collar as Jaehyun helped him out of the apartment. Jaehyun had driven him home that night, just smiling and laughing along with Doyoung’s drunken remarks and rambling. He’d taken Doyoung up to his room, shushing him to stop him from waking Ten up, and gotten him into bed. He’d left a kiss on Doyoung’s forehead before he left as well, and Doyoung remembers him murmuring, “I hope you remember this when you wake up.”

Doyoung hadn’t remembered when he woke up, but his friends had thankfully supplied the information for him, telling him all sorts of embarrassing stories about him and Jaehyun. To top it off, later that day, Doyoung found out that same Jaehyun had beaten him out in votes to become the music students association’s president, and Doyoung had vowed to never talk to him again.

But here Doyoung was, crowded up against a wall with Jaehyun’s tongue in his mouth, his hand cupping Doyoung’s face tenderly. Doyoung suddenly felt sick.

He pushed Jaehyun away forcibly, enough for Jaehyun to stumble slightly. Jaehyun was looking at him with wide eyes, filled with shock and a bit of disappointment, and Doyoung couldn’t bear it. He pushed past Jaehyun and into the kitchen, making a beeline for the fridge. He wrenched it open and grabbed a bottle of water out, opening it with such haste that some splashed over his knuckles. He chugged half of it down before even taking a breath, kicking the fridge shut, and it was only then that he saw who else was in the kitchen.

Taeyong was sitting on the counter not too far from where the fridge was, a bowl of chips on his lap. He seemed decently sober, if the way he was looking at Doyoung with confusion was any indication. Doyoung wanted to cry right then and there.

“Uh, thirsty?” Taeyong asked jokingly, letting out a laugh as he ate another chip. “You okay?”

Doyoung slumped against the fridge and stared at the ceiling as he sunk to the ground, all the fight going out of him. “I just made out with a guy I’m supposed to hate,” he said, voice wavering. “So no, not really.”

Taeyong visibly paused, another chip halfway to his mouth. “But you were making out with Jaehyun just now?” he said confusedly. “I thought you two were dating?”

“No,” Doyoung repeated desperately, covering his eyes with one hand. “I hate him. I’ve hated him for _months_ . We aren’t even dating, I was just trying to make you jealous.”

At that, Taeyong choked, jolting with the force of it and spilling some chips out of the bowl and onto his jeans. “You-- _what_ ?” Taeyong asked incredulously. “You wanted to make me _jealous_ ? Why?”

Doyoung put down the bottle of water, covering his face with both his hands now. Vaguely, he realized he was shaking. “Because you left me,” he said, pained, unable to stop the truth from coming out. “You took my first kiss, and then you left me, and you didn’t even say goodbye. And then you show up years later at a bar with your boyfriend all happy and fine and shit and I just-- I _couldn't_ , I couldn’t still be bitter and single and--”

“Hold on,” Taeyong cut him off, setting the bowl down and hopping off the counter. “Boyfriend? What boyfriend?”

Doyoung uncovered his face at the complete confusion in Taeyong’s voice. “Isn’t Yuta your boyfriend?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing. “He was with you at the club, and you guys go everywhere together. He was all touchy with you, too..”

Taeyong looked down at Doyoung for a few moments before letting out a surprised laugh. “Doyoung,” he explained breathlessly. “Yuta is my _roommate_ . We aren’t dating, he’s just a touchy person.”

Doyoung stared up at Taeyong, his blood slowly turning to ice. “You-- what?” he asked, slowly getting to his feet. “You and Yuta-- you aren’t dating?”

Taeyong shook his head, letting out an exasperated laugh. “I haven’t dated anyone since we broke up,” he explained sheepishly. “When I told you I was moving, and you locked yourself in your room and wouldn’t talk to me, it.. It kind of hurt, you know? I didn’t even get to say goodbye to you. It took me a while to get over it.”

“You what?”

Doyoung’s heart stopped when he heard a familiar voice from the kitchen doorway, and he almost didn’t want to look. He didn’t have to, though, because Jaehyun walked right up to Doyoung, looking at him in confusion. 

“You told me he dumped you,” Jaehyun said, more confused than accusatory. “You said he left without a word. I didn’t know that meant you didn’t let him say goodbye.”

Doyoung looked at Jaehyun and found it hard to breathe. His lips were red like the last time they’d kissed, puffy and swollen, but instead of his eyes being filled with affection, they were confused and hurt. It made him sick, made him hurt so bad that all he wanted to do was get away. 

So he did. He ran out of the kitchen, out of the apartment, taking the few staircases down and ignoring Jaehyun shouting at him the whole way. He ran out of the building and in the opposite direction from Jaehyun’s car, not stopping until he found a dimly lit park.

Doyoung collapsed onto one of the benches, heaving and out of breath, and it was only then that he let himself feel what had happened. Before he knew it, tears were pricking at his eyes, and he swallowed, pulling out his phone to text Ten to come get him. When he unlocked his phone, though, he had a bunch of missed calls from Jaehyun, as well as some texts.

 

**from: jaehyun**

Doyoung

Doyoung where are you

Doyoung answer me

Doyoung I’m not mad at you. Please answer

We don’t have to talk about this now, I just

Need to know you’re okay

Doyoung, I love you. Please answer me.

 

Doyoung stared at Jaehyun’s last message for a while, tears slowly spilling over and dropping onto his screen. His phone rang again, but he didn’t answer it, knowing he couldn’t talk right now. He let it go to voicemail, then finally messaged Jaehyun back.

 

**to: jaehyun**

i’m in a park

idk where it is but i just ran along yuta’s street

the opposite direction from where your car was

 

Jaehyun’s reply was nearly instantaneous, the bubbles to indicate that he was typing barely having enough time to come on Doyoung’s screen before they were replaced.

 

**from: jaehyun**

Okay. I’m coming to get you.

 

Doyoung put his phone back in his pocket, taking the time before Jaehyun got there to get himself together. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve, not caring about getting it wet, and ran his hands through his hair to fix it from where the wind and his running had messed it up. He didn’t have long, since Jaehyun’s car pulled up a couple minutes later, Jaehyun immediately stepping out.

When Doyoung looked up at Jaehyun, he looked so relieved to see him that Doyoung felt guilty. He looked down again, sniffling and wiping his eyes. A few seconds later, the bench beside him creaked, Jaehyun sitting down next to him.

They sat in relative silence for a few minutes, the only noises being Doyoung’s occasional sniffles. Slowly, though, Jaehyun moved a hand closer, just enough for his fingers to brush against Doyoung’s.

“I’m not upset with you,” he told Doyoung reassuringly, his calm and gentle voice a stark contrast to the maelstrom that Doyoung felt in his chest. “You were hurt. I get it. I’m not mad at you for anything.”

When Doyoung didn’t reply, Jaehyun sighed and continued on. “At that party, when we kissed for the first time,” he began, “I didn’t stop you because I had a crush on you. You were cute, and smart, and I’d heard you sing at the beginning of my freshman year and just.. Fallen for you. So I kissed you, but I knew you were drunk, so I didn’t think anything would come of it.”

Jaehyun swallowed, loud enough for Doyoung to hear. “Then the next day, I won the election to be president of the student’s association,” he said. “I didn’t think I’d win, especially not over you, since you were talented and well-liked in the department. But when I went to talk to you about it, your friends said you were mad at me and didn’t want to talk.. I never got to explain myself.”

Doyoung was looking at Jaehyun now, watching his mouth as he spoke. Jaehyun turned to look back at him, giving him a humorless smile, before glancing away again. “That’s why I didn’t mind pretending to be your boyfriend,” he explained quietly. “I got to be close to you and I thought you would maybe stop hating me. I thought you liked me, when you kissed me, but then you pushed me away, and..”

“No,” Doyoung said quietly then, finally speaking after all this time. Jaehyun froze, then looked at him suddenly, eyes wide. “No,” Doyoung repeated, a bit louder and firmer. “I.. like you. I actually really,  _really_ like you, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun stared at him for a few moments, before his face softened slightly and let out an incredulous laugh. “You aren’t joking, right?” he asked. “You better not be joking, because if this is one of your blackmail schemes--”

He cut off when Doyoung leaned in suddenly, kissing him softly. When Doyoung pulled back, Jaehyun’s eyes were wide, but a dopey smile slowly appeared on his face. Doyoung couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Does that seem like a blackmail scheme to you?” Doyoung asked teasingly, and laughed again when Jaehyun shook his head quickly. “Good,” he added with a grin. “Now buy me ice cream.”

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun replied, exasperated but fond as he smiled at Doyoung. “It’s almost midnight.”

“I know a place,” Doyoung said confidently, getting off the bench. He turned back to Jaehyun, and after a moment, held out his hand.

Jaehyun just smiled at him as he slid his warm, broad palm into Doyoung’s, hopping off the bench and coming to stand next to him. “Lead the way.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was my first time writing for a fic fest and my first time actually finishing a fic for this fandom! i had a ton of fun writing this, even though it was pretty stressful at some parts, especially towards the end when my job and life got in the way.
> 
> a huge thank you to my dearest and most beloved n. without you, i wouldn't have signed up for this, and i never would have finished this fic that i sincerely enjoyed writing and am proud of myself for. you're the best brainstorming buddy, the best nct trash buddy, and the best friend i could have asked for. i hope you like this.
> 
> another huge thank you to the mods for dealing with me being late, my extensions, and my shitty understanding at how kst relates to my time zone. you are so awesome for running this and i hope you don't hate me too much lol. you're the realest.
> 
> lastly, thank you to whoever prompted this! it kind of got away from me at one point but i tried to give you something with a bit of everything. it was a hilarious prompt and i had an absolute blast coming up with all sorts of whacky ideas for the escapades that doyoung would get up to in this mess of a situation. i hope you laughed, i hope you got a good case of feelings, and i hope this satisfied you. thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to write this mess for you!


End file.
